Kalamunda Districts Rugby Union Club

During the recent Wallabies V Barbarians game, I was intrigued to

hear that Twickenham is regarded as the spiritual home of world

Rugby. With our own spiritual heart lying in ruin I was wondering

what alternatives there may be to Perry Lakes.

I first proscribed arcs around the five western suburbs clubs,

bisected the tangents linking them, squared the hypotenuse and

disregarded the five outer Clubs. The result is the geographical

resting place of one Vito-Maria Pascuale (RIP) in the southwest

corner of Karrakatta cemetery. Hallowed ground yes but what if we

include the other Clubs in the calculations?

Michael H. Freedman of UCal, San Diego, working with graduate

student Zheng-Xu He, recently proved Homer Simpson’s theory of a

donut-shaped universe to be correct. "Geometric linking,

independent of linking number, can be used to estimate a lower

bound on the energy of an incompressible flow," Freedman says.

"This suggests wider applicability of the topological lower-bound

principle than was visible from Arnold’s work." Thus we may apply

this latest revelation of quantum energy theory to our own

competition; Kala’s time has come. Disregarding the soggy bit

actually in the Indian Ocean, its time to have our doughnut and eat

it too.

high-energy doughnut rolling outwards from Karrakatta towards the

hills. The outer Clubs now encompass the greater part of the energy

doughnut and leave the inner Clubs vying for the dwindling remains

around the hole (and Vito-Maria). QED.

Did anyone else go to the Alcohol-free Cheetahs game? Didn’t we

just know it that the low alcohol beer was just the thin end of the

wedge? Like, ”We’re sending a message lads. Enjoy the low al while

you can. Heh heh heh”. LowAl is bad enough in that I wind up in

some kind of queue for about a third of game-time.

And I can see that getting tanked before the game might create a

dangerous delusion that some really, really big guy named Mad Dog

van de Merve is a dickhead. Alcohol-free for the players, sure – but

the spectators!!

Was this some kind of experiment or just a sick joke? Just how

much vodka can you inject into a couple of oranges anyway (ans.

about 210ml)? By the way ladies, watermelon with Apfelkorn or

even Van der Hum is terrific, while a Frangelica taken while

munching on a banana is a real turn on. Quite apart from the surge

in fruit salad taken into the game, I’m sure there was less passion

in the (record low) crowd. Less spirit as it were.

I’ve noticed that even my own ardour for the mighty Bulls dips

according to alcohol levels. A couple of sensible mid-strength beers

and I’m at about 92%, whereas a couple of the more fulsome

Tooheys extra dry or EBs and my passion is complete. Have you

to the Club red wine to kept theirs up? Committee members even –

At last years semi-final, the Perry Lakes manager was surprised

that the Bulls supporters drank the place dry. “Geez you blokes can

put it away”, he says to Toddy, and with a knowing look, “ But you

won’t get me again. I’m ordering double for the Grand Final”. Oh

yeh? Halfway through the second half of the Grand Final he was

seen wheelbarrowing in emergency supplies!

must remind our supporters that the Cancer Council informs us that

alcohol consumption definitely increases cancer risk. We should all

take the health perspective into account in our responsible drinking

practices. But before we lapse into unforgiving sobriety, we could

Anyway, the force nearly kicked the game away (remember. we

were chatting about the Cheetahs game). Josh looked the part

though and I can’t see him being at Hartfield much for the first half

of this season at least. Go Josh. His mighty tackle to jar the ball

loose for Drew Mitchell’s try against the Blues was a beauty. How do

you reckon the Force front row will go vs. the Springbok front row

this week? Seeya at the Sharks game.